so I'm looking at previous posts on here and I can't help but do one thing:
The irony of life entertains me. For a few reasons...
...My post about skipping chapel and feeling bad about it and making it a one time thing?
It was like a thirty time thing ... like seriously. I skipped chapel so much in both of my semesters that I barely made my spiritual formation credits requirement!
((THANK YOU S.I. CENTER!!!))
...my post about accepting change and being okay with it and it's for the better lah dee dah?
I wasn't "okay" with it. I was at first, but eventually, I got reeeeal depressed.
......the kind of depressed that puts ya in counseling.
((But I sucked it up and now I'm MUCH better))
College isn't what I thought it'd be ... college is not even remotely care-free. Not when you're me, at least ... Definitely not when you're me ;)
I slacked off miserably and went through two weeks of hell trying to catch up... both semesters.
Talk about cramming? I was the queen of cramming stuff into last minute
((...the last LATE minute, that is.))
I did soul searching and came back with negative results because I forgot to soul search in the presence of God ... the results of my soul searching was a few months without the peace of God inside of me ...
I thought being at a Christian college meant I'd be fed constantly and I wouldn't have a care in the world when it came to my walk with God - it would be constant growth ...
WRONG.
Being at a Christian college doesn't make my walk any easier...
so what did I learn? Because I had to have learned SOMETHING...
I came to a pt in my life where my walk couldn't be based on what others thought it was, or what I pretended it was ... God wanted a relationship with ME, not who I pretended to be ((the "high and mighty" Christian girl who went to a Christian college and was going into ministry!!))
I came to a pt where I realized that God did not exist in the lies of "I'm okay" and "Just praising through the storm!" because really, I was screaming and yelling at Him ... not praising. And I wasn't okay.
I came to a pt where God met me, said He loved me but not who I pretended to be...
I came to a pt where I realized I wanted a legit, love God and drop all of who I am and become all of who He wants me to be, relationship with God...
It was a great pt to be at :)
Who woulda thunk it? Monicadee opened her eyes!
MonicaDee :)
