Easy Avenue? Nah!

so I'm looking at previous posts on here and I can't help but do one thing:

LAUGH. hysterically.

The irony of life entertains me. For a few reasons...

...My post about skipping chapel and feeling bad about it and making it a one time thing?

It was like a thirty time thing ... like seriously. I skipped chapel so much in both of my semesters that I barely made my spiritual formation credits requirement!

((THANK YOU S.I. CENTER!!!))

...my post about accepting change and being okay with it and it's for the better lah dee dah?

I wasn't "okay" with it. I was at first, but eventually, I got reeeeal depressed.

......the kind of depressed that puts ya in counseling.

((But I sucked it up and now I'm MUCH better))

College isn't what I thought it'd be ... college is not even remotely care-free. Not when you're me, at least ... Definitely not when you're me ;)

I slacked off miserably and went through two weeks of hell trying to catch up... both semesters.

Talk about cramming? I was the queen of cramming stuff into last minute

((...the last LATE minute, that is.))

I did soul searching and came back with negative results because I forgot to soul search in the presence of God ... the results of my soul searching was a few months without the peace of God inside of me ...

I thought being at a Christian college meant I'd be fed constantly and I wouldn't have a care in the world when it came to my walk with God - it would be constant growth ...

WRONG.

Being at a Christian college doesn't make my walk any easier...

so what did I learn? Because I had to have learned SOMETHING...

I came to a pt in my life where my walk couldn't be based on what others thought it was, or what I pretended it was ... God wanted a relationship with ME, not who I pretended to be ((the "high and mighty" Christian girl who went to a Christian college and was going into ministry!!))

I came to a pt where I realized that God did not exist in the lies of "I'm okay" and "Just praising through the storm!" because really, I was screaming and yelling at Him ... not praising. And I wasn't okay.

I came to a pt where God met me, said He loved me but not who I pretended to be...

I came to a pt where I realized I wanted a legit, love God and drop all of who I am and become all of who He wants me to be, relationship with God...

It was a great pt to be at :)

Who woulda thunk it? Monicadee opened her eyes!

MonicaDee :)